The Demon of Anxiety
12 May 2025
Written by Dannielle Taylor
Aha! I have returned after centuries of having nothing to say. The irony there is that I rarely ever have nothing to talk about. I think my lack of blogging is because I want to write something with substance. If I’m going to borrow someone’s time in order to read about what I’ve been up to, it better be something interesting. So that is why I have returned. I have something important to say!
My life has taken a turn in many ways, none of which I will go into detail with, but what I will share is what I have learnt. Life moves forward, whether that be beneficial or not—that all depends on what the world is willing to hand you—but my absence hasn’t been a lack of inspiration; I was working consistently the entire time, but I decided to go on a deeper journey into what life means to me.
Unfortunately, I have spent a good chunk of my life being riddled with that wonderful demon called Anxiety. And they clung on for many years, but I have been working tirelessly to free myself from their clutches. Of course I have written a novel—Hidden Words—on a life with anxiety, but I want to speak on what my anxiety was doing to me.
I’m a big dreamer, always have been, but despite all of that, I fell into a hole where all the overwhelming states of life were keeping me trapped within. I could see my way out—I could climb—but there was a strong force that kept trying to drag me back down. My anxiety was preventing me from living my life—despite the joyous exterior that kept this hidden from anyone else to see. This might sound small to some, but I had nervous anxiety for getting on buses. Not only that, but I made up excuses in order to avoid learning how to drive—all of which were keeping me trapped from moving forward. This and many other things had come down to my fear of failure. Which is silly, because life is all about failure. Failing is important for learning, failing is important for growth, and honestly, I needed to fail for once. Or rather, to fail again and be okay with that! Perfection is not the perfect life.
There’s irony in that, too, because I knew that. In fact, I preach that to people when they panic about their own imperfections, but for some reason—and like most people—I ignored that great fact. It is important to fail because that is how you know you’ve experienced something. I needed to remind myself that I am allowed to exist in this world as the imperfect human being that I am. Anyone who knows me will know my love for character development, and what traits do those characters possess? IMPERFECTION! They have their faults; that is how we get to see them grow and develop … they fail in order to succeed. Come on, Dannielle, you know this!
I did know this, and I’d say that with a smile because I’m laughing at myself here. My new buddy—the Demon of Anxiety—and I are having a right laugh as we point and say, “You idiot.”
It is okay to exist in this world with flaws, as long as you understand that these flaws are here to help us grow. I am proud to say that I have found my roots for where my anxiety begins and ends. I am facing my fears every day, and each day I am reminding myself of how great it feels to exist.
So if there’s a lesson I want anyone to take from this, it’s that I want you to understand that it is okay to not be okay. Just take a step back to reflect on why that might be the case and think, ‘What is bothering me right now? Can I fix it right this very second? Yes, that’s awesome! No, then I will deal with it when I next can. And is it within my control?’ If not, then you’ve got to just trust the process of life and wait for when it will be. There’s no point in worrying about the What If’s in life because sometimes the road ahead isn’t always certain, but that is okay, too.
Just keep living, keep existing, and keep learning to take care of yourself for once.
Brodie and I looking yonder for a brighter future … or rather, Granny showed up to drop something off without coming into the house, so now Brodie’s life is over.